Couples Need to Talk About Their Finances

By Stacey Bradford | Jun 12, 2009 |

If there’s one issue that couples fight about it’s money.  According to a recent survey, it’s also something they don’t tend to talk about. And that could lead to trouble.

A new study by Fidelity Investments says many Baby Boomers and older pre-retirees aren’t communicating with their spouses about their money and plans for retirement. Alarmingly, less than half of couples (45 percent) make decisions jointly regarding their day-to-day finances, including budgeting and bill payment. Even fewer (38 percent) make investments decisions together. And 42 percent have different ideas regarding their expected lifestyle during their golden years.

But even more alarming to me is the lack of interest that one spouse often takes in money matters. According to the study, only 15 percent of couples feel confident that both of them could assume responsibility for their joint finances if the other person could no longer do so.

I understand that couples tend to divide household chores. One spouse may decide to pay all the bills and the other takes care of the cooking. A division of labor can make a lot of sense and make for a more efficiently run home. But every twosome needs some kind of a back-up plan for survival if the unthinkable should happen. Say a wife is responsible for making all the meals; she would never let her husband starve. She would either teach him how to cook or take comfort in the fact that he could drive himself to a restaurant to eat.

Managing money should be no different. To get by in today’s complicated world, the partner who isn’t engaged with the couple’s finances needs to at least know where to find crucial bank account information and how to manage the investments once the other person is gone. That’s why at the very least, I think all couples should keep a list of all bank and retirement accounts, and online passwords in a secure place so the other person isn’t left scrambling for information.  And while you’re at it, you should also leave the name and number for your accountant and lawyer.

Is it critical that spouses talk about everything when it comes to money? I believe partners can never communicate enough.  But if you are going to keep any financial secrets from one another, stick with how much you spent on the other’s birthday or holiday gifts and not the amount of cash sitting in an IRA or brokerage account.

Do you and your spouse talk about the joint finances? I’d love to hear what you have to say.

Filed Away image by mrmanc, CC 2.0.

 
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    lulunyc

    07/07/09 | Report as spam

    RE: Couples Need to Talk About Their Finances

    Thank you for this article. It was a great reminder to make sure my husband and I keep communicating about our finances. We do well in taking care of the big items such as life insurance but we tend to get caught up in the day to day life activities and forget to do a weekly or monthly financial check.

    I was motivated by your Allowance Management Made Easy article to check out Mint.com. Since reading that article and this one, we've made some changes to the way we manage our weekly, monthly and annual budgets. We've taken some concepts from Dave Ramsey as well. Many financial experts have recommended using an envelope system to spend only the budgeted cash for different categories such as groceries. I don't find the envelope system to be practical. So instead, we set up a Fixed Expense checking account and a Variable Expense checking account. Our paychecks are deposited to the Fixed account. This account covers housing, child care, life insurance, home insurance, utilities. We move a set amount of money from the Fixed account to the Variable account. Our debit card is linked to the Variable account. We use the variable account to pay for groceries, entertainment, gifts, clothes, vacations etc. We have budgets for each of these fixed and variable accounts which we set up in Mint.om. Mint.com sends us emails to alert us if we are approaching our budgeted amount in a category.

    I can't believe I am saying this, but it has made budgeting and financial discussions fun. It has also relieved any stress b/c we know our Fixed costs are covered. We can only spend the Variable amount. Once it is gone we have to wait until next month.

    We have also set up an automatic deposit to our emergency fund savings account. Any variable funds not spent in a given month will also go into the emergency fund.

    Thanks again for these great reminders and useful information. Keep it coming!!

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Stacey Bradford

Stacey L. Bradford covers personal finance with a focus on issues that affect families. Her first book, The Wall Street Journal. Financial Guidebook for New Parents, hits shelves June 2009. She was previously an associate editor at SmartMoney.com for more than 10 years.

Stacey Bradford

Jolie Solomon

Jolie Solomon is sitting in for Stacey Bradford, who is on maternity leave. She has been a reporter, writer, or editor at many publications, including The Wall Street Journal, Newsweek, Fortune Small Business, More and the the late lamented Cincinnati Post.

Jolie Solomon

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