Robert Pagliarini

Your Other 8 Hours

Do People Without Kids Waste Their Free Time?

By Robert Pagliarini | Oct 5, 2009 |

If you don’t have kids, you don’t have a time problem.

I have friends without kids and I want to wring their neck every time they say, “I’m so busy. I don’t have enough time.” You don’t have enough time?! Are you kidding me? My theory, which seems to be much more popular with my friends that have children, is that people without kids are inefficient and don’t fully value their free time.

Yes, I said it.

Unless you’re a really bad parent, raising children requires an enormous investment of money and time. Your other 8 hours probably feel more like your other 8 minutes.

Common sense says that if you have children, you will not be as productive. There’s no way you will be able to get as much done. That book you want to write? It will take a lot longer. Time for exercise? Limited. People without kids have so much more free time that it’s almost unfathomable.

So if common sense is accurate, why aren’t people without kids so much more successful and productive? Fortunately, they waste their time and are inefficient. Too harsh? I’m speaking from personal experience.

It’s my daughter’s birthday today. She’s four years old. I discovered that I get as much done now as I did before she was born. How is that possible? It’s because I’m a whole lot more efficient now.

I only have a fraction of the time to read, work, exercise, watch TV, etc. that I used to. Because of that, I do things faster and I’ve eliminated people and eliminated things that aren’t important. My productivity has remained level but my efficiency has gone through the roof because of my daughter.

This becomes quite apparent every couple of months when my mother-in-law takes her for a couple of days. I get almost nothing done. I think I’m going to be able to use all of my free time to catch up on stuff but end up wasting most of it and doing very little. I fall back into bad habits.

The trick for you childless folks out there is to place more value on your free time. Of course, that’s like telling Joey Chestnut to savor his next hot dog. When you have so much of something, it’s hard to place much value on it.  Here are a few tips:

  • Create a sense of urgency. If you think something is going to take two weeks, start on it a week before it’s due. Force yourself to work more efficient by eliminating dead time.
  • Fill your day with more to do. It’s obvious that the more you do the more productive you will be, but what’s less obvious is the more you do the more efficient you will be. When you have a hundred things happening at once you can get in the zone and get more done more quickly.
  • Track your time. Don’t think you waste your time? Track it for a day or a week. If you really want to get depressed, have a friend with a child track his time and compare the results.

If you don’t have kids you have all the time in the world. Go forth and use it. Let me know what you do with it. In the meantime, I’ll be at Disneyland

(Hammock image by *Mickey’s, CC 2.0)

If you’re interested in using your other 8 hours to get your finances in shape, you can download my free eBook/audiobook “Plan Z: How to Survive the 2009 Financial Crisis (and even live a little better).

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  •  
    1

    MoneyMama

    10/06/09 | Report as spam

    RE: Do People Without Kids Waste Their Free Time?

    Oh wow, you will probably get a lot of slack for this one, but it is absolutely true. I also know from experience. You know how many times a day I think about how much free time I had before children? Too many!! And then I think, what in the heck did I do with all that time? Let's just say I played a lot of online poker and have seen every episode of Seinfeld about 10 times. . .

  •  
    2

    remrich@...

    10/07/09 | Report as spam

    RE: Do People Without Kids Waste Their Free Time?

    What?? I am a 51 year old professional woman who never had any children. I commute an hour each way to work, work 55 to 60 hours a week, help my spouse maintain our home on two acres of land as well as maintain a rental property. I am up at 4am, out the door by 5am every morning. I've been in the office a couple of hours by the time my counter parts with children arrive. Just because somebody doesn't have children doesn't mean one has all kinds of free time.

  •  
    3

    Northern Girl

    10/07/09 | Report as spam

    RE: Do People Without Kids Waste Their Free Time?

    I don't know how many times I've heard..."I can't do that, I am
    too busy", but what they've been asked to do would only take
    15 minutes.

    What people never seem to realize, is that they will always be
    busy, and while they are busy, things do get done.

    As a result, I never say I am too busy. I just ask how long
    should it take, and when is it required.

  •  
    4

    Hmmm. . .

    10/07/09 | Report as spam

    RE: Do People Without Kids Waste Their Free Time?

    Somehow, those of us without kids (who are always expected to pick up the slack at work for those of you who do) seem not to have been given nearly enough credit (again).

    Maybe, just maybe, we're worn out from the "I have to (leave early/come in late/skip work today) because my kid (is sick/has a dental appointment/has a ballgame)". Is this factored into your analysis? What about the 12 weeks maternity/paternity leave--taken multiple times by some over multiple years?

    Having kids will not turn someone from a couch potato into an author and not having kids will not turn someone from an author into a couch potato. I'll grant that you are busy, but I can't grant that you are busier, more efficient, or more productive.

  •  
    5

    jcouturier7282

    10/07/09 | Report as spam

    Efficiency vs. Productivity

    It is funny, people only ever see/hear what they want to.
    This article did not say people without children are less
    productive, but less efficient. It is also not about your time
    spent at work, but your time spent outside work (your other
    8 hours).

    I find it very true, for the parents who get just as many
    "non-parenting" tasks done as the non-parent counterparts.
    However, it is not true of all parents either. I find myself
    getting more tasks done now that I have children, because
    there is that much more to do. I find myself getting things
    done in much less time because I also have to parent my kids
    most of my time (they are 8 and 3).

    I think the point of this article is just that the majority of
    parents seem to get just as much done as non-parents, but
    given the amount of time that needs to be spent on
    parenting tasks, parents are more efficient at the non-
    parenting tasks.

    Just a humble parent's point of view.

    A side note to hmmm... - it is just as frustrating from the
    parent side when we have to come in hours early, stay late,
    or work on the weekend to make up work in order to be there
    for the things that are important to our kids. Trust me,
    bringing projects home and working on them for three hours
    after the kids go to bed makes for a very long day.

  •  
    6

    lease777

    10/07/09 | Report as spam

    RE: Do People Without Kids Waste Their Free Time?

    I'm with remrich@... , I'm just a little bit older. I haven't had a television for nearly 25 years. I've been in grad school for 31 years (one degree after another .. ). I do a lot of volunteer work for my church as well as outreach at my job. I provide eldercare for my parents. I design and sew almost all of my clothes, and for a few years ran a marathon a month. I truly am awed by my colleagues who have children and are both great parents, industrious workers, and manage to maintain some level of sanity. Kudos to all who find ways to fill up those other 8 hours productively, whether or not that involves children.

  •  
    7

    DavidTrahan

    10/07/09 | Report as spam

    RE: Do People Without Kids Waste Their Free Time?

    I think it's this article is extremely ignorant. People without children fill their free time with other activities. People with children use most of their free time to take care of their families. If I am childless I probably do some things that my friend with children does not do, because they don't have time. Just because your non-work time is spent with family and not always on leisure does not mean that childless people are inefficient and have all the free time in the world. We childless people just spend our free time doing other things that you don?t consider important, because it's not raising a family. We go on dates and go out with our friends after work and go to networking events and relax watching TV and participate in mentorship/volunteer programs and sometimes just like to sleep in. I?m not as busy as people who have children, because that?s a full-time job too, but to say that I am inefficient because of that is ridiculous. I am very efficient, because I enjoy doing my non-work activities. People with no free time because of their family need to realize they are not the supermom/dad they think they are. Ever stopped to think that maybe you?re trying to do too much with too little time? Since when is being over-worked and finding a way to fit every little thing u need to do that is probably too much to handle in a day the model of efficiency?

  •  
    8

    gmoeller1

    10/07/09 | Report as spam

    RE: Do People Without Kids Waste Their Free Time?

    I don't have children, I'm extremely busy, highly efficient, and spend my free time in volunteer service or in recovery (AKA eating, sleeping, and reading so I can recharge for the next onslaught).

    I'm so glad your daughter influenced you to learn to manage your time better and become more efficient. Later on, when she's grown up and self-sufficient, perhaps you can put some of that finely honed ability to work by serving the needs of others. There's a lot of opportunity out there.

    HINT: Maximize your time and cognitive focus by throwing out the TV. You'll be doing your daughter a favor, too.

  •  
    9

    Robert Pagliarini

    10/07/09 | Report as spam

    RE: Do People Without Kids Waste Their Free Time?

    @MoneyMama Yes, I fully expected to get some abuse with this post, but that's okay. Love it or hate it, my goal is simply to get people to become more conscious of how they use their time and to explore new ways to invest time in more enriching activities.

  •  
    10

    Robert Pagliarini

    10/07/09 | Report as spam

    RE: Do People Without Kids Waste Their Free Time?

    @remrich@... Thanks for the contribution. It sounds like you have a VERY full and active day!

  •  
    11

    Robert Pagliarini

    10/07/09 | Report as spam

    RE: Do People Without Kids Waste Their Free Time?

    @Northern Girl I'm a huge fan of GTD (Getting Things Done)--if you haven't heard of it check it out--and you've nailed one of the key questions.

  •  
    12

    Robert Pagliarini

    10/07/09 | Report as spam

    RE: Do People Without Kids Waste Their Free Time?

    @Hmmm. . . Excellent point. The comments I've received on this post elsewhere (Facebook, etc.) seem to fall into two camps. Those with kids agree and those without complain that they have to pick up the slack (at least in the office) for those of us with kids. That's a valid point. Kids do get sick, people have to leave early, there are distractions, etc.

    You say "I can't grant that you are busier, more efficient, or more productive." I agree that people with kids are no busier or productive, but I would still argue that we are more efficient happy.

  •  
    13

    Robert Pagliarini

    10/07/09 | Report as spam

    RE: Do People Without Kids Waste Their Free Time?

    @jcouturier7282 I think you fully "got" what the article was about. Parents are crazy busy running around trying to do a 100 things but still manage to get what needs to be done done. The thrill of finding an hour to relax, watch TV, read, catch up on work, write, etc. can only be understood by another parent.

  •  
    14

    Robert Pagliarini

    10/07/09 | Report as spam

    RE: Do People Without Kids Waste Their Free Time?

    @lease777 You are a true inspiration! 31 years in grad school . . . that's fantastic!

  •  
    15

    Robert Pagliarini

    10/07/09 | Report as spam

    RE: Do People Without Kids Waste Their Free Time?

    @DavidTrahan I understand where you are coming from and your points. People with kids choose to spend that time raising a family. They may not have time to do much of anything else like read, sleep, exercise, network, hang out with friends, grab a drink after work, or watch TV. Parents are trading most of those activities for going to the park, soccer practice, reading Green Eggs and Ham, etc. But many of these parents in a spare few hours a week are able to server on their HOA board, volunteer, write a blog, train for a marathon, etc. Give a parent an hour of free time a day and they can cram a lot into it because they know once that hour is over that's it.

  •  
    16

    Robert Pagliarini

    10/07/09 | Report as spam

    RE: Do People Without Kids Waste Their Free Time?

    @gmoeller1 Even as a parent, I'm able to fit in volunteer work. I'm on the board of a non-profit that helps impoverished children around the world called The Band of Brothers (www.bobf.org).

    Excellent point about the TV . . . but then I'd have to give up Curb Your Enthusiasm!

  •  
    17

    LittleFish 7

    10/08/09 | Report as spam

    RE: Do People Without Kids Waste Their Free Time?

    We are the richest nation in the world and yet are so preoccupied with being 'productive'. Last time you pursued a 'nonproductive' or 'self-indulgent' activity, did you think about making something up when someone asked you what you were up to? Most of us have a completely irrational sense of shame when we're not making somebody money--ourselves or our bosses.

    With or without children, maybe we should all make a vow to pursuing 'nonproductive' activities--paint, read, sketch, watch tv, make jewelry, toss a ball around with your kid (hardly productive, really, in the truest sense of the word)--whatever blows your hair back or your skirt up. Your cardiologist won't be happy with this vow, as it'll deprive him/her of the latest model Jaguar. Stress is one of the leading causes of heart disease and much of it is self-generated.

    Many of us feel the need to justify our existence by being 'busy' all the time...this may sound like a hippie diatribe, but please...for the sake of yourself and your family, fulfill yourself with 'nonproductive' activities that enrich your soul as well as your pocketbook. After all, you can't really be 'productive' when you're dead.

  •  
    18

    makkh@...

    10/08/09 | Report as spam

    RE: Do People Without Kids Waste Their Free Time?

    I guess what Robert means is something related to human nature: Most of us will just pass the task if there is no constrain before head. If the boss never mentioned when he/she needs the thing done, maybe it'll be put under the desk until we retired happy

    Human tends to be efficient when there's a time constrain thus creativity comes in. We might need to figure out is there any other method to serve the same purpose which is acceptable since we're short of man power, time & money?

    Maybe this is the key difference between ordinary people & those who holds real success in life: Winners don't wait, they act before others realize "Hey, this is what we should have done in the 1st place!"

  •  
    19

    gmoeller1

    10/09/09 | Report as spam

    RE: Do People Without Kids Waste Their Free Time?

    Kudos to Robert Pagliarini, parent and volunteer - how lucky your children are! I hope you involve them in your service activities as much as possible and tell them, explicitly and often, that a happy life is built on helping others whenever and however we can.

    If you can't give up your favoriate TV show, severely limit youthful viewing. I'm convinced my escape from poverty was due to my parents being readers and the fact that they didn't own a TV until after I left for college on BEOG (thanks President Johnson!). If I'd arrived on campus mind-numbed and ignorant after years of idiot box worship I doubt the grant would have done me much good.

    Great point about winners taking action, makkh@... I think you're right. It's something to ponder.

  •  
    20

    Robert Pagliarini

    10/09/09 | Report as spam

    RE: Do People Without Kids Waste Their Free Time?

    @LittleFish 7 Thanks for the comment and insight. I completely agree with you! What I'm saying and what you're saying are not mutually exclusive. The more efficient you are on the stuff you have to get done, the more free time you have to do the things you really want to do (e.g., relax, sit and think, read, look at the stars, volunteer).

  •  
    21

    Robert Pagliarini

    10/09/09 | Report as spam

    RE: Do People Without Kids Waste Their Free Time?

    @makkh@... That's exactly right. If you're perfectly content doing nothing and are consciously making the decision to spend your time this way, then by all means do it as much as you can. The problem is there are a lot of people that complain that they are overweight, don't have any interests, don't have enough time to volunteer, don't make enough money, etc., yet don't take action to improve their life. That's the disconnect I see and the point of making the most of your other 8 hours. Thanks as always for your great comments...

  •  
    22

    Robert Pagliarini

    10/09/09 | Report as spam

    RE: Do People Without Kids Waste Their Free Time?

    @gmoeller1 I went for about five years without watching any TV, and frankly didn't miss it at all. I find now that I work so hard that I need time to "decompress". Reading would be better, but sometimes that takes too much effort. Congrats to you and all of your hard work. Thank you for being a part of this discussion.

  •  
    23

    makkh@...

    10/09/09 | Report as spam

    RE: Do People Without Kids Waste Their Free Time?

    Thanks Robert & @gmoeller1. Just wish all of us manage to find these 2 key ingredients for excel: determination & persistence.

  •  
    24

    ah12

    10/12/09 | Report as spam

    RE: Do People Without Kids Waste Their Free Time?

    I would have to agree with Robert on this one.When i dint have my baby,i was more energetic,competitive & had lots of time to do stuff that i now eagerly want to do. Being a mom of 6month old baby, leaves me no free time.I was back to work after 2months post delivery & everyday was struggle.Iam now used to the routine but have no time to do things that i would love to (8hours for more productivity..).Still learning to be more efficient with my time.

    My point is that no matter what childless or with kids, one needs to learn use the time effectively.That depends on lots of factors (focus,drive,culture...) etc.Human beings slack as we r programmed to.Key is to succeed in whatever we do,whenever we do but efficiently. Reminds of me the below i read
    "Your definitions define your thoughts,thoughts define actions,actions define destiny. So be wise of your definitions"

  •  
    25

    Robert Pagliarini

    10/14/09 | Report as spam

    RE: Do People Without Kids Waste Their Free Time?

    @ah12 Having kids forces you to become uber-efficient. That's why the first few months are so tough--because you're still learning.

    Thanks for your contribution...

  •  
    26

    scddd

    10/21/09 | Report as spam

    RE: Do People Without Kids Waste Their Free Time?

    test

  •  
    27

    scddd

    10/21/09 | Report as spam

    RE: Do People Without Kids Waste Their Free Time?

    Perhaps people with kids do have better time management
    skills.. but I don't necessarily think that they have less time
    than people without kids.

    I don't have kids and I'm unemployed (how I found this site)
    so obviously I have more time than the average person but
    my friends (who don't have kids).. they are always busy and
    doing things. Many study/work at the same time, or do
    evening courses, or have very active social lives. Perhaps
    they just spend more time on doing things for themselves
    rather than their kids.

    You article has a hint of jealousy to me.. that you wish for
    your life prior to kids. It seems to be a case of 'the grass is
    greener' ie those who think their lives will be great after
    kids then after kids realize that their lives weren't actually
    too bad beforehand. I have many friends with kids and
    seeing them whinge constantly or drone on about their
    boring lives on Facebook is enough to put me off having
    kids...

    Also what about single vs married/coupled up people? You
    haven't mentioned this but as a single person I find this
    interesting too and have to almost laugh when people talk
    about not having enough time for household chores. If you
    are single you have noone else to rely on. Forgot the milk?
    Well either go thirsty or go and buy some at the corner
    store for an inflated price or get it at 9pm... Need
    something done to the house and you have to wait for a
    tradesperson? Well you have to take a day (or a few hours)
    off work... Need clean clothes? Well you have to wash
    them, need to eat? Well you have to cook, every meal
    every day (especially when you are unemployed and have
    no money to eat out)....

    I'm not really sure what the point of your article was. So
    what if they 'waste' their time? How does it affect you
    anyway? Have you gained so much new found knowledge
    simply because you are a parent now?


  •  
    28

    makkh@...

    10/26/09 | Report as spam

    RE: Do People Without Kids Waste Their Free Time?

    scddd: I'm not sure if your employment status has change? Just a friendly suggestion......Maybe it's time to look for a steady source of income now?

  •  
    29

    stacey013

    10/29/09 | Report as spam

    crazy world

    @makkh: in case you haven't noticed the county has the highest unemployment rate in a *very* long time. Perhaps you should take that into consideration before making a snide comment and telling someone to "find a steady source of income." Do you think most of the US is enjoying being unemployed and unable to care for themselves/their family?

    As to the ACTUAL topic of this article: I agree with Robert that most people need to step back and re-evalute their lives and take at how they use their time.

    HOWEVER, I do not belive this topic needs to be discussed on the basis of parents v. non-parents. Of course (most..not all) parents have to be more efficient with their time because they have children to take care of. That goes without saying. It is human nature to adapt to your environment. Just like an amputee can learn to carry on with daily life, just like soliders go out and survive, just like anyone picks up and carries on after the death of a loved one: people adapt and continue on to have a life of value. It is unnecessary and unfair to say people without children waste their time.

    I know plenty of parents who waste their time just as I know plenty of single people who fit more in to one day than I could ever imagine.

    This type of over-generalization is an error a professional like youself should know not to make.

  •  
    30

    curlcoat

    10/29/09 | Report as spam

    RE: Do People Without Kids Waste Their Free Time?

    Why is it that parents seem to think that simply because they have contributed to overpopulation, what they are doing with their time must be oh so much more important than what those without children are doing? At 52, I have never had nor never will have children, and I am extremely busy with things that are important to me, and parents should stop looking down on that. Somebody has to get some work done while they are taking care of their kids...

  •  
    31

    kova5

    10/29/09 | Report as spam

    RE: Do People Without Kids Waste Their Free Time?

    Ron Sexsmith:
    "The day is long
    many hours to fill
    It's allright if we
    let a few minutes spill
    Where's the crime in wasting
    time with you"

    Sebastian Smee:
    "There's nothing indolent aout surrendering to the instinct to do nothing"

    We have no kids and have busy lives; however, we do spend time doing absolutely nothing: it helps boost observation skills and creativity, and makes us more effective and engaged during the busy periods. Don't knock it!

  •  
    32

    deityordevil

    10/29/09 | Report as spam

    RE: Do People Without Kids Waste Their Free Time?

    Obviously...
    I run 8 miles a day. I clean the house. I start laundry. I clear up any dishes that soaked overnight. I shower. I get dressed. I go to appointments 3 times a week before going to work for eight hours a day. Twice a week I attend meetings during my lunch break. I go to the gym after work, or attend meetings after work. I manage 3 websites, and do volunteer work when I get home. I clean. I vacuum. I cook. I put away dishes. I do more laundry. I organize finances. I pay bills. I water the plants. I make sure the cat has food and water. I write. I put laundry in the dryer. I do my homework. I read up on what I have to work on for my next appointment.

    I do not have children. I have ocd.

  •  
    33

    Rachel Martin

    10/29/09 | Report as spam

    RE: Do People Without Kids Waste Their Free Time?

    You chose to have children and are apparently astounded at how little free time you consequently have. I have chosen not to have children. Therefore I have much more free time, which I use to pursue my interests, or to do nothing at all. I enjoy the consequences of my choice. You obviously do not enjoy the consequences of your choice. You sound like a resentful father.

  •  
    34

    Minervah

    10/29/09 | Report as spam

    RE: Do People Without Kids Waste Their Free Time?

    So if this silly article is to be believed, Mother Theresa just frittered away her time since she had no kids. Child free people invest their time in many busy projects including charity work, volunteering to help others, elder care, education and so on. The author seems to be saying that the only worthwhile time is time spent raising children.

    I detect that there is a bit of jealousy being shown here. Mr. Pagliarlini would probably like to spend his time as he chooses but is tied to investing that time in his kids.

  •  
    35

    makkh@...

    10/30/09 | Report as spam

    RE: Do People Without Kids Waste Their Free Time?

    stacey013: That's harsh. 1st of all, I have no intention to make anyone look bad. 2nd, This topic which seems to compare btw parents & singles is just a way to brought up the issue of self-willingness to really execute something.

    Of course I know US is suffering with economic downturn, the truth is it is not least at my country as well (or should I say the entire world). The best we can do is motivate among ourselves, equip with skills which are needed in the market (even working part time).

    There is no 100% good things happening at any time, just don't give up.

  •  
    36

    Minervah

    10/31/09 | Report as spam

    RE: Do People Without Kids Waste Their Free Time?

    "Love it or hate it, my goal is simply to get people to become more conscious of how they use their time and to explore new ways to invest time in more enriching activities."

    "The thrill of finding an hour to relax, watch TV, read, catch up on work, write, etc. can only be understood by another parent."

    Regarding the first quote: Thank you so much for dictating how I should spend my time. Maybe you should spend more time relaxing.

    Regarding the second quote: Are you kidding me? What about a child-free ER physician getting off of a 72-hour shift. Are you saying he or she can't understand the thrill of getting an hour to relax? Or a fire fighter or just about anyone who works hard and appreciates time off.

    I am a child-free by choice woman. Reading your article about all that children take out of your life and time makes me glad I made that choice. Of course that is not the only reason I made that decision, but it certainly is a small part of it.

    In 63 years I have never considered my time wasted.

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Robert Pagliarini

Robert Pagliarini is the author of the No. 1 bestseller Six-Day Financial Makeover. His second book, Your Other 8 Hours: Get More Time. Get a Life. Get Rich., will be published in January 2010. He has become a familiar face on Good Morning America and has appeared on 20/20, ABC Morning News, NPR’s Marketplace and in The Wall Street Journal, Newsweek, Money Magazine, and many others. Robert is the president of Pacifica Wealth Advisors, Inc., a boutique wealth management firm recently ranked No. 4 in Southern California. He is a Certified Financial Planner and has a master’s degree in financial services.

Robert Pagliarini

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